Everyone has money issues—but few
of us want to admit it. In a culture where therapy and
discussion groups have become the norm to deal with
a variety of problems, we’re surprisingly quiet
when it comes to our secret financial fears. Sure, we
might complain about the state of our bank accounts,
but how often do we really discuss the complex feelings
we have about money?
Joan Sotkin, author of the new book Build
Your Money Muscles: Nine Simple Exercises for Improving
Your Relationship with Money, addresses the root
causes of money troubles without beating around the
bush. “The fact is that most people are uncomfortable
with money, no matter how poor or wealthy,” she
says. “Financial advisers address the external
components of achieving wealth, but actually the most
important factor is an individual’s internal relationship
with money.” This relationship, according to Sotkin,
is an extension of people’s relationships with
themselves and others, originally formed in childhood.
Build Your Money Muscles facilitates exploration of an individual’s relationship
with money through a series of exercises designed to
uncover the causes of money problems and shift the thoughts,
beliefs, and emotions that often unconsciously drive
financial behaviors. And the basis for having a good
relationship with your checkbook is developing a loving
relationship with yourself. “Most people look
in the mirror and say, ‘Ick,’ which is not
a great way to treat yourself,” Sotkin states.
“What if you could look in the mirror and say,
‘Wow, you’re terrific’—and mean
it? It may sound strange to say that what you tell yourself
when you look in the mirror affects your finances, but
it does. Most people never feel like they’re attractive
enough or good enough, and these feelings extend to
their interactions with money.”
Having a good relationship with money, then, starts
with getting comfortable with yourself and loving yourself
more. Surprisingly, Sotkin says, once people develop
a better relationship with themselves, they realize
they don’t need a lot of money to achieve financial
comfort. Lasting prosperity comes from an inner sense
of having more than enough of what you need to support
you in life—including plenty of money.
Sotkin, who learned money lessons the hard way, through
chronic debt and bankruptcy, created her successful
Web site ProsperityPlace.com at age sixty. She now lives
in Santa Fe, New Mexico, where she counsels privately
in addition to leading workshops, seminars, and a prosperity
group.
Build Your Money Muscles:
Nine Simple Exercises for Improving Your Relationship
with Money by Joan Sotkin (Prosperity Place,
2006). Includes 15 charts, 8 b&w illustrations.
$24.95. ISBN 0-0-9711719-8-0. Available at bookstores
everywhere and from www.ProsperityPlace.com.
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